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07 June 2008 @ 08:49 pm
If I had gone to high school, or I guess stayed in high school, I would have graduated on the 30th.
Or... Actually I would have graduated today, since I would have been going to Cottage Grove High School.

If I had stayed in high school, today would have been graduation.

I wouldn't have been scootering down the hill with Ret, going to a BBQ.
I would not have my apartment.
I would not be on leadership.
I would not have had the two awesome years at OSU that I have had.
I would not be the "non-trad-non-trad" student that I am.
And there are so many people that I wouldn't have ever met...

Well, I guess I would still be starting at 17. I guess that sort of counts as "non-trad-non-trad".

So many things I would have missed out on, staying in high school. But then, what did I miss?
Does it matter? Apparently I've missed it. Oh well. I've gained from it too. I have my awesome apartment, great friends, and have had two awesome years at OSU!

There is one thing I can be sure of. If I had stayed in high school, I would be starting at OSU next fall. Either way, I have landed myself at OSU for the 2008-2009 school year.
I suppose you can argue that I can't know that. But there is not doubt in my mind that regardless of whether I graduated high school or not, OSU is where I belong.

So tonight I will ponder for a bit what my high school graduation would have been. I'll wonder what if.
And then I'll spend some time rocking to SCC's song "Miracle of the Moment".

"It's time for letting go of all of our "if only"s, 'cause we don't have a time machine. And even if we did, would we really want to use it, would we really want to change everything?" (Miracle of the Moment ~ Steven Curtis Chapman)

No, I don't think I'd want to use it. There are people I would never meet, things I would never do... Things I would lose. And not know I lost, I suppose, but still.... Sometimes I wish I could go back, and see "what if", but I think that's because of the mental block I have put up on high school (the whole depression thing really did freak me out). Yeah, what if. What if I had given CGHS a chance?
I don't know, but I don't have a time machine, so no use in dwelling on it.
Current Location: Apartment
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful